Today’s random Simpsons quote comes from Abe (Grandpa) Simpson:

One way to get rid of them is to tell ’em stories that don’t go anywhere. Like the time we went over to Shelbyville during the war. I wore an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time – you couldn’t get those white ones, you could only get those big yellow ones. Now where was I? Oh yeah, the important thing was I was wearing an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time, you couldnt get those…